Yvette's Gift

On December 30, 2020, because of the Gift prompt from inktober52, I painted Yvette’s Gift.

The words on this watercolor piece are the last things my mother wrote to us before she died of cancer in 1998. I tried to give the painting an ethereal, otherworldly quality—cool blues and misty tones, with none of the warm orange hues that usually pull me in.

My mother once said her favorite color was blue. I don’t think she chose it with passion. It was simply something calm and agreeable. Still, blue is the color I associate with her.

Yvette’s Gift found its way to my aunt Janis on the day before Mother’s Day this year. That afternoon, my sister Christine, Titi Janis, and her wife Amy and I drove up to the lookout point in New Jersey where we scattered my mother’s ashes back in '98 that overlooks the Hudson River-

I wondered if I should bring her an offering of some kind.

Yvette’s Gift came to mind. But where would I place it? She doesn’t have a traditional grave, just a cross in the Dominican Republic, where her father insisted on keeping part of her ashes. 

First in a backyard, then placed in the mausoleum with her parents

Her wish, though, was to be cremated and scattered on a body of water.

While at the park, I searched for a sign- stones, dirt, a bench, a gift shop nearby. But nothing felt right. And then, something spontaneous happened. My aunt spoke of mom and memories of her, and a sweet moment unfolded. We all took each other’s hands, then I took the painting from my bag. I was going to read it, but I asked my sister to do it instead, while I held it.

Then I knew: Give this painting to Titi Janis. She would understand and treasure it for what it was- a handmade thing that was heartfelt, meaningful, and filled with Mom's colors. Plus, purple happens to be Titi Janis' favorite color 💜 

That whole afternoon was a true treat, accompanied with sweet weather. Even the Greek restaurant we tried for the first time earlier that day, with its blue/white flags and decor all throughout, was like Mom's cosmic wink and her saying "Hello" to all of us.

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Years ago out dancing one night with friends, I spotted a mother dancing with her little daughter, and in that mother, sensed my mom's playful energy so strongly that I ran into the ladies room and cried. I wasn’t ready to talk to her then, not really. But now, I find myself inviting Mom in more often, speaking to her with more ease. I turned things around and let her in.

What Yvette’s Gift holds for me is memory, honoring a wish, and her colors. Not my usual fire-lit palette, but a hush of blues and violets and purples. Cooler tones. A way of remembering that is also a way of honoring. And enjoying 💙🩵💜🩷